Butterfly Strokes Amidst the Storms

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Turbulent tides, these are—  
The ones I wade through.  
Rough and violent,  
Merciless and cold,  
Flipping and tossing  
Me over and over again  
As I struggle to hold on.

Hold on... 

To the last flicker of hope.  
To the final ounce of strength in my body.  
To the faintest glimmer of faith in my being.  
Mustering all the courage there ever was,  
I hold on.

Every now and then,  
I spot a tiny speck in the distance—  
Land or not,  
I still can't say.  
The ocean splashes cold water  
On my face,  
Slapping me awake from my trance.  
Or not...  
I still don’t know.

How long until I swim across?  
Or how long before I sink?  
I try to shut the noise—  
To mute the fiery argument  
Of a relentless debate  
Waging in my mind.

I spot fellow humans now and then—  
Yes, I do.  
But rarely does one pause  
To notice the turmoil I’m caught in.

Mostly, they drift away like passing clouds—  
Far, far away.  
Friends or foes?  
Neither, I would say.

I close my eyes  
And pray for a miracle.  
But all I see are the dark waters  
Surrounding me...  
No sign of light,  
No sign of land.  
Focus.  
Manifest.  
I whisper under my breath.

Ugh...  
What happened to that New Year list of manifestations  
You burned and blew into the air,  
Hoping this year would be magical?  
My shoulders slump  
As I drift a little deeper.

Then—  
A jolt.  
Startling me,  
Preparing me for the worst.  
My mind races back,  
Flashing through snippets of the past and present—  
My whole life before me.


Is this it?  
Is that all?  
Am I ready for this?

As I search for answers  
And prepare for the worst...

I feel a nudge—  
A hand pulling me upward,  
Away from the dark,  
Away from the cold...  
Slowly into the light.  
The light of tomorrow.  
The light of my future.


And that was all it took  
To believe in the unseen.  
With a renewed faith,  
With a revived spirit,  
Ready to embrace the future—  
Just the way it is.

Speaking of drowning—  
Ah!  
I’ve seen it all.  
Been there... done that.  
Come what may...  
I can handle it,  
Said a voice from within.

And since then...  
The seas have been calm,  
And the clouds have been clear—  
Favouring me  
From far or near.

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