Eternal Parenting Syndrome (EPS)
Parenting is no small feat!
It’s no joke either!
Nor does it come with a handy rulebook.
It’s definitely serious business that demands complete physical and emotional involvement from the parents.
But how long does one hold on to the role of a parent?
Do their responsibilities evolve over time?
Or does the saying "Once a parent, always a parent" hold true?
Whatever the case may be, every parent will undoubtedly strive to give their children the best, no matter what.
With all due respect to the wonderful roles we play as parents—and keeping in mind the great examples set by earlier generations—here are a few deep-seated thoughts that may cross one’s mind when considering the challenges of parenting. Read on to explore further, or perhaps relate more deeply.
Eternal Parenting Syndrome (EPS)*
What happens when a parent cannot cease being a parent?
What happens when they fail to recognize that their child is now an adult, fully capable of making their own decisions in life?
What happens when they misinterpret their role as a grandparent and extend it as ongoing parenthood?
What happens when they refuse to let go, still clinging to their child, believing they know what's best for them?
What happens when they fail to realize that it’s now their child’s turn at life and that their own turn is over?
What happens when they make themselves the pivotal part of their child’s life, expecting the whole world to revolve around them?
What happens when they feel the need for periodic reminders of their once-wonderful role as a parent, expecting their child to recognize their duties toward them?
What happens when they refuse to grow up, stubbornly freezing in time, expecting the universe to fall back and walk the same path with them?
What happens when they let their own insecurities curb their child's growth and progress , victimizing them for life?
What happens when they cannot distinguish between parenting and autocracy?
What greater curse is there than a child wishing for some breathing space, just a moment to themselves, so they can function independently?
How tragic it is when the very parent who should support this growth becomes the obstacle, blind to the need for space that is essential for their child’s emotional and psychological development.
Why do parents expect their children to inherit the scars of their own unresolved childhood traumas?
Why should children bear the weight of narcissism, emotional blackmail, or expectations that leave them emotionally drained?
And then, there’s time.
How invaluable is lost time!
Every moment spent in a state of emotional manipulation or control is time that cannot be reclaimed. Time that could have been spent nurturing a healthy, mutually respectful relationship is wasted on power struggles, dependency, and misguided attempts to “protect” a child who no longer needs that level of interference.
Why not allow the child to recreate some of the parent’s favorite childhood memories with their own children, passing on positive legacies and experiences instead of holding them back?
Isn’t that what true parenting is about—watching your child thrive, and even surpass you, as they create their own paths and legacies?
Do parents even realize how much is at stake in this dynamic, or are they so completely blinded by their own needs and self-obsession that they fail to see the real picture?
The cost of refusing to let go is immense—more than just the potential destruction of the parent-child relationship, but the squandering of opportunities for growth, healing, and new beginnings. It is a tragedy that many, caught in their own fears and insecurities, may never fully comprehend.
Before I can even think of answers to all these questions, I want to sincerely pray, from the bottom of my heart, that I never become such a parent - A parent suffering from, what I would like to call, 'Eternal Parenting Syndrome (EPS)' !
Never ever!!
Let's just…
Live and let live.
For we live this life but once.
*P.S.- EPS mentioned above, is nothing more than a title that I chose for the write-up. In reality, it clearly does not refer to any kind of mental health condition or a behavioural pattern.
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